Scripture for what you're facing
Doubt and questions
Doubt is not the opposite of faith. Many in Scripture brought honest questions to God, and he met them.
A prayer
Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.
A practical step
Write your questions down and bring them to a trusted Christian or pastor.
If you're struggling to cope, please talk to someone. Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7). In an emergency, call 999.